I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
