At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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