we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
