fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
as a side note pls kill me
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
