I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
