I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Life is so much better after having sex.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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