And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
