Are we in a gay sports bar?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
