Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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