playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You smell like stripper and shame
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
A+ Viking dick
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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