In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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