My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
ok first of all what the fuck
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
