2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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