Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
