You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
