It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
