we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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