if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You smell like stripper and shame
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
