what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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