we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
