you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize