So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
