I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
