bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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