I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
