Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
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