My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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