did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
there's paper in my vomit.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
