This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
