She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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