i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
