you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
