I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
