yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
