For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
