I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
