i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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