I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
