This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
