after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
