What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize