Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
