this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
