$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
