I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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