Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Randomize
