New invention idea: vibrating tampons
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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