Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize