Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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