she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
