hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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