Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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