i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
