Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
