i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
