I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize