we're blogging at a bar
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
