So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Four minutes until I can fart!
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Someone shattered a urinal.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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