Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
