He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
